Sweet Surrender Page 19

  “If that were true, you wouldn’t be standing in your hallway, trying to figure out how to get rid of me.”

  “Has anyone told you you’re annoying?”

  William pretended to think about his answer. “Not recently, although Megan has had a few interesting things to say about my personality.” He kept moving toward Zac’s bedroom. “You’ll need something to wear on Sunday, too. Bozeman is a city, and city-slickers notice when the country bumpkins come to town.”

  Zac snorted. “Bozeman is in Montana, not Los Angeles.”

  “It makes no difference. While you’re there, you’re representing our town.” William walked into Zac’s bedroom.

  “You’ll need to live here for a few more years before you’ll be recognized as a resident.”

  “Mabel has already given me her blessing.” William held up a pair of boxers. “Do you have any underwear that doesn’t have a picture of Mickey Mouse on the front?”

  Zac snatched the boxers out of his friend’s hand. “My brother bought them for me as a joke.” When another pair of boxers landed on his bed, Zac sighed. “I haven’t spoken to Willow since last Wednesday. She’ll be upset if I suddenly walk into the gallery.”

  “You don’t know that.”

  “It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to realize I’ve messed up a great relationship.”

  “You’re not the only person who’s walked away from the best thing that’s ever happened to them. Megan could easily have left me to wallow in self-pity, but she didn’t. And now look at us.” William pulled out a shirt from Zac’s closet and threw it beside the boxers. “Where are you hiding your best suit?”

  “It’s on the left-hand side. How did you know Willow and I broke up?” Zac hadn’t told his friends for a reason. And that reason was holding the black suit he wore to funerals in his hands.

  “Emma spoke to Willow after you dumped her. When Willow went home in tears, Emma spoke to Megan, and Megan told me.” William scowled. “There are no secrets in a small town.”

  If William had come here to make him feel better, it wasn’t working. Zac’s life was a complete disaster and he only had himself to blame.

  William threw another shirt onto the bed. “If you stand there watching me, you’ll be late.”

  Instead of helping to pack his clothes, Zac sat on the edge of the bed. “I’m not going.”

  For a few seconds, William simply stared at him. “Do you love Willow?”

  “You know I do.”

  “Then what’s the problem?”

  With eyes full of unshed tears, Zac looked up at his friend. “I can’t give her what she needs.”

  William sighed and sat on the bed. “Have you asked Willow what makes her happy?”

  “No, but I know her. She needs someone she can trust, someone who will always be there for her. I can’t guarantee that person will be me.”

  “That applies to most of us. You can’t be strong all the time, especially if you have something like PTSD. Willow knows that, and she still fell in love with you.”

  Zac’s greatest fear was that one day his symptoms would spiral out of control. That the rainbow of drugs he took would stop working. If that happened, he didn’t want to be responsible for hurting anyone, least of all Willow.

  “Willow hasn’t seen me at my worst. She thinks the person she fell in love with is the man I will always be. My panic attack on Friday night was nothing compared to what PTSD usually does to me. But even that stressed her out.”

  “She was worried about you. We all were.”

  “I don’t want her to worry about me.”

  “Can I tell you a secret?” William waited for Zac to nod before continuing. “From the moment I met Megan and Nora, I didn’t stop worrying about them. And when I hold Rebecca, it’s worse. But I worry because I love them.”

  Zac wiped his eyes. “I was worried Willow would go back to Nashville and never want to see me again.”

  “So you broke up with her before she could break up with you?”

  Zac nodded.

  William wrapped his arm around Zac’s shoulders. “It’s just as well you’ve got friends like Levi, Caleb, and me. We’ve all said and done things to stop ourselves from getting hurt. But you know what? At some point you have to decide what’s important. And no one, including Willow, can answer that question for you.”

  Zac took a deep breath. He loved Willow more than anyone else in the world. She was his beginning, middle, and end, and he couldn’t imagine his life without her. “It looks as though I’m going to Bozeman.”

  “Good for you,” William said with a smile. “Just remember, we’ve all done things we’ve regretted. The trick is not to make the same mistake twice.”

  Chapter Nineteen

  Willow smiled as a man from Wisconsin told her what he liked about the canvas in front of them.

  So far, the opening night of the exhibition had gone really well. Nick had started the evening with a lovely speech, welcoming Willow and all the guests to his gallery.

  After that, delicious finger food and trays of bubbly champagne had circulated the room. Art collectors and other gallery owners from across America had admired Willow’s photographs. If the art critics’ comments were as positive as those of the other people in the room, the exhibition would be a huge success.

  Willow was more than a little shocked by the prices Nick had placed on each canvas. But that didn’t faze the man she was speaking to. He wanted to purchase the three canvases she’d shot at Yellowstone National Park. At five thousand dollars each, they weren’t the type of spontaneous purchase Willow would have made.

  As soon as their conversation was over, he shook her hand and made his way to the sales table.

  “I can’t believe how many people are here.” Megan handed Willow a glass of orange juice. “Most of your photographs have already sold.”

  Willow’s eyes widened. She hadn’t paid much attention to the red dots appearing below each canvas. “Are you sure?”

  Megan nodded. “Positive. When I was standing beside the photo of the New York City skyline, two people almost had an argument over who was going to buy it.”

  “I didn’t think there would be this much interest in my work.”

  Megan smiled. “From the look of things, you’ll have to get used to it. The room is full of gallery owners from across America. They’re all speaking to Nick about hosting one of your exhibitions.”

  After tonight, Willow would have to take a serious look at her career. If other gallery owners wanted to exhibit her photos, she’d need to reduce the number of commissions she accepted. There were only so many hours in the day and she was already exhausted.

  “I saw your portrait of Zac. It’s incredible.”

  Willow swallowed deeply. “I’m giving it to him as soon as the exhibition is over.”

  “Did you take it at Levi and Brooke’s wedding?”

  Willow nodded. “I hope he likes it.”

  “I’m not a professional photographer and I don’t know much about art, but Zac’s portrait is stunning. I don’t know how you create such beautiful images, but I’m glad you do.”

  Willow gave her friend a hug. “Thank you. It means a lot to hear you say that. How are Rebecca and Nora?”

  “They’re better than William. He takes his daddy-minding duties very seriously. It’s just as well I’m flying home tonight. Otherwise, he’d never survive.”

  A lady who was wearing the sparkliest pair of spectacles Willow had ever seen, stopped beside them.

  Megan smiled at the woman before touching Willow’s arm. “I’ll see you later. I promised Nora I’d take plenty of photos.”

  “Remember to take a picture of the bison canvas. She’ll like that one.”

  With a quick nod, Megan disappeared into the crowd.

  Willow wished she could do the same. It was nerve-racking being here when people were discussing her photos. It was even worse when those same people could make or break her career.

&
nbsp; Zac found a parking space a block away from Nick Costas’ gallery. He’d only arrived in Bozeman half an hour ago. With just enough time to have a shower and get changed, he’d left the hotel in a rush, worried he’d miss Willow’s exhibition.

  He looked at his cell phone and checked the address of the gallery. The last thing he needed was to be running in the opposite direction to where he needed to go.

  The main street of Bozeman was packed with people enjoying a night on the town. Zac didn’t realize how much he’d become used to the small town of Sapphire Bay. He moved closer to the red-brick buildings, trying to reduce the likelihood of triggering a panic attack. As long as a vehicle didn’t backfire or someone crash into him, he would be okay.

  A few minutes later, he stopped outside the gallery. Inside the large glass display windows were two of Willow’s canvases. They were both landscapes showing Flathead Lake in all its glory. She must have taken the photos in the fall. The deep red and orange glow of the trees was magical against the clear blue sky and glistening lake.

  “You’ll need an invitation to go inside,” a man’s voice said from beside him. “This is the opening night of the exhibition. But from tomorrow, you can see the canvases whenever the gallery is open. It’s well worth a look.”

  Zac turned and smiled at the stranger. “Thanks. Did you buy anything?”

  The stranger returned Zac’s smile. “I did, but I nearly missed out. Someone else was ready to buy the three landscapes of Yellowstone National Park, but I beat them to the desk. I’d better get going. Have a good night.”

  “You, too,” Zac said. He looked through the window at the people holding glasses of wine and nibbling on food. He’d forgotten that tonight was for invited guests only.

  He could call Willow and tell her he’d arrived, but that might upset her.

  Trying to get past the security staff without a ticket would only embarrass her. So he walked around the side of the building. Megan was here. If he could find her, he would have more chance of getting inside the gallery and seeing Willow.

  The soft, classical notes of a string quartet drifted down the wide alleyway. A wall of floor-to-ceiling doors shone light onto the asphalt and gave him a clear view of the exhibition.

  Whoever owned the gallery knew a thing or two about displaying art. Each canvas was lit by spotlights, adding to the texture, light, and movement in each photograph.

  A woman walked past the window holding a camera. Zac stopped. It had to be Megan. He doubled back and peered inside the gallery, hoping she realized who was standing outside.

  If he didn’t figure out a way of getting into the gallery soon, someone might think he was up to no good and call the police.

  Just when he was about to give up and head back to the front door, Megan saw him and frowned. He pointed to the locked doors.

  When she realized what he wanted, she looked over her shoulder before letting him inside. “Why didn’t you come in the front door?”

  “There are two security staff on duty. I didn’t want to embarrass Willow, so I thought I’d try coming through the back door.

  “I’m assuming Willow doesn’t know you’re here?”

  Zac nodded. It didn’t look as though Megan was particularly happy to see him, either. “I wanted to apologize for the way I treated her. I made a mistake when I ended our relationship.”

  Megan crossed her arms in front of her chest. “William told me I should butt out of Willow’s life and not say anything to you. But, as her friend, I feel a moral obligation to tell you exactly how I feel.”

  Zac braced himself for the words she was about to say. He probably deserved every unkind thought that had crossed her mind. He just hoped Megan hadn’t shared her thoughts with Willow.

  “Anyone with half a brain can see how much you care about each other. You’re a good man, Zac, but you really need to work on your confidence.”

  His mouth dropped open. Instead of telling him he was an idiot, she was giving him advice.

  Megan’s frown deepened. “The sooner you apologize to Willow, the better it will be for everyone. But before you go anywhere, there’s something you need to see.” She pointed to a white wall not far from where they were standing. “Go over there and look at the canvas hanging on the wall. I’ll follow you. If you need to find somewhere quiet to sit after you’ve seen it, just let me know.”

  Zac’s imagination was working overtime. Willow’s photographs weren’t the sort of pictures that gave you nightmares. If anything, they celebrated what was buried below the surface of each image.

  “Go on,” Megan said. “I’m right behind you.”

  Whatever was hanging on the wall must be horrific.

  He wove his way through the crowd. A few people raised their eyebrows as he walked past. Others stopped talking completely, staring at him as if he’d grown two heads.

  Maybe it was what he was wearing? He should have known not to wear his black, funeral suit, but it was the only one he had.

  When he was a few feet away from his destination, the people around him fell silent.

  William was right. This crowd could spot an imposter when they saw one. Anyone would think he was here to deface the canvases or…

  Something weird was going on. Everyone’s gaze was darting from the wall to him, and back again.

  He moved closer to the canvas and stared at the large photograph.

  It was him, but it wasn’t.

  When his mind calmed down enough to see what Willow had created, he was shocked. Her photograph had stripped back every emotional layer he wore and exposed the most vulnerable part of who he was.

  He stepped closer to the canvas. Half of him was in awe of her talent. The other half was embarrassed.

  She’d taken the photo at Levi and Brooke’s wedding. He was standing on the edge of the dance floor, staring at the bride and groom. There was a longing in his face that he’d never seen before. He knew why it was there, and so did Willow.

  It wasn’t for what could have been, but for what had always been inside him. Patience, courage, and determination shone from the canvas. It was in the line of his shoulders, the angle of his jaw. Light balanced the shadows, his dreams added depth.

  At that stage, Willow had only met him a couple of times. But even then, she’d looked beyond his complicated, damaged soul and found the best of who he was.

  Megan moved closer. “Are you all right?”

  The only thing Zac could do was nod. Willow’s picture was changing the way he saw himself, the way he saw the world.

  Megan’s hand rested on his elbow. “I’ll be back soon. If you need to leave, head toward the glass doors you came through. I’ll find you right away.”

  Zac watched her leave, then turned back to the canvas.

  Afghanistan had taken nearly everything from him but, until now, he hadn’t realized how much he had been given.

  The refugees lived with hope. All they wanted was to return to their homes, to the lives they’d left behind. At times, when the pain of what he saw was too much, Zac turned to his friends for support. Levi and the other medical staff were incredible, but so were the people who had become refugees in their own country.

  They knew what it was like to live in fear, to worry about unclean water, limited food rations, and medicines that were difficult to find. They knew, better than most, what it was like to lose the people you loved.

  Somehow, the refugees’ tenacity and perseverance had become part of who Zac was. Beneath the unpredictable symptoms of PTSD was a man who could love and be loved.

  “Hi, Zac.”

  His heart pounded. Willow stood beside him, her eyes full of the same uncertainty he felt. He wanted so badly to reach out, to hold her in his arms, to explain why he’d panicked. But he didn’t know how.

  She took a deep breath. “Megan told me you were here.”

  “I hope it’s okay that I came.”

  “I wanted to talk to you after the exhibition anyway.” She glanced at the p
hotograph. “The canvas is my gift to you. I want you to see what I see when I look at you. Whatever happened in Afghanistan hasn’t defined you. It’s made you stronger. Here.” She placed her hand over his heart.

  Zac covered her fingers with his. “I’m sorry—”

  “It doesn’t matter. I understand why you don’t want us to be together.”

  “That’s not what I was going to say.” He gathered his thoughts, focused on the words he’d practiced on the way here. “I’m sorry I didn’t trust you enough to let you close. I want you to be my safe place to fall, but I also want to be yours.”

  Willow’s eyes widened, then filled with tears. “I’d like that, too.”

  “I can’t promise that a relationship with me will be easy. But I’ll do everything I can to show you how much I love you.”

  Willow took a deep, shuddering breath. “That sounds like a wonderful plan to me.”

  Everyone around them started clapping.

  Zac wrapped her in his arms, holding her close. “I love you.”

  Her arms tightened around his shoulders. “I love you, too.”

  When he looked over Willow’s shoulder, Megan was the first person he saw. He didn’t know if she was smiling because she was happy or relieved. But it wasn’t important.

  Willow loved him, and that was all that mattered.

  * * *

  Two Months Later

  * * *

  Willow handed Barbara a basket of dishtowels, detergent, and other cleaning products. “Mabel Terry put this together for you.”

  Barbara smiled. “I’ll thank her next time I see her. I still can’t believe Jesse and I have our own tiny home. I could never thank you enough for what you’ve done.”

  “I didn’t do very much,” Willow admitted.

  “Without the money from the fundraising concert and the sale of your canvases, we would have been waiting a lot longer for somewhere to live.” Barbara gave Willow a hug. “If you ever need somewhere to stay, come and see us. There’s always room for you here.”

  Willow smiled. “Thank you. Is there anything else you need?”