Sweet Surrender Page 18

  “They’re at a first aid class. Megan and Sam are looking after the children.”

  Zac nodded and cleared his throat. “I wanted to thank you for making sure I was okay on Friday night.”

  “You don’t have to thank me. Pastor John was the person who took you home and made sure you were safe.”

  “You stayed the night. Even though it might not feel like it, I appreciated everything you did.”

  Willow still didn’t look convinced that she should be thanked. “It’s good that you came to see me. I’m going to Bozeman tomorrow morning.”

  “For your exhibition?”

  Willow nodded.

  “Are you looking forward to it?”

  “I am. Megan’s going to be there. If you’d like an invitation I could ask—”

  Zac shook his head. “I can’t come, but I hope it goes well.”

  Willow’s face became even more pale.

  His heart sank. He tried to think of something to say. Something that would sound better than telling her he couldn’t go to her exhibition.

  Last week, Willow had told him the gallery owner was trying to coordinate a European tour of her photographs. But, at that stage, she still hadn’t heard if it was happening. “Have you heard anything about the exhibitions in Europe?”

  To his surprise, she nodded. “I spoke to Mr. Costas this morning. So far, five venues want to display my photographs.”

  “Congratulations. You must be happy.”

  Willow nodded.

  For someone whose work was going to be seen by a new audience, she didn’t seem very happy.

  “Did you get any of the phone messages I left you?”

  Zac looked away. “I did. That’s partly why I’m here.” He felt like an idiot for not returning her calls. But he needed time to think about what he was going to do. “I haven’t called because I needed time to think a lot of things through. I can’t do this anymore.”

  Willow’s eyes filled with tears. “I’m assuming you’re talking about us and not volunteering at The Welcome Center.”

  He couldn’t bear it if she started crying. He’d never wanted to hurt her or cause her pain. “I’m sorry. I don’t think it’s a good idea to stay together. I need to sort out my life before I can commit to anyone.”

  Willow’s brown eyes were huge in her face. “Are you breaking up with me because of your PTSD? Because if you are, I can help—”

  “No. I have to do this on my own.”

  “You’ve been living with PTSD for years. Has dealing with it on your own helped?”

  A hollow feeling settled in Zac’s stomach. “That’s not the point.”

  Willow started to say something, then stopped. She lifted her chin, holding her mouth firm as tears spilled down her cheeks.

  Zac stepped closer. He wanted to wrap her in his arms and tell her how sorry he was that he couldn’t be the man she needed. But she moved away, distancing herself from everything he wished he could say.

  “I need to check on something in the kitchen.” She wiped her eyes and took a deep breath. “If you could set the rest of the tables, Mabel would appreciate it.”

  And before he could say anything, she left the room.

  Zac sat in the nearest chair. Instead of being relieved that Willow knew how he felt, he was devastated. He had turned his back on the most amazing woman he’d ever met, and he didn’t know if his life would ever be the same again.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Willow opened the door to Nick Costas’ gallery. The drive from Sapphire Bay to Bozeman had given her a chance to think about Zac and his decision to end their relationship.

  Last night, she’d hardly slept. Instead of continuing to toss and turn she’d turned on her computer and read lots of information about PTSD. It seemed to her that each person’s symptoms were completely different. Sometimes the ways PTSD showed itself were so obscure that it could easily go undetected. For other people, it was devastating.

  She prayed Zac could find a way to manage the symptoms he experienced. Because, as difficult as it was, his PTSD wouldn’t go away.

  “Willow! You have arrived. How was your journey?”

  Mr. Costas’ thick, Greek accent made her smile. “The roads were clear and the weather was wonderful. I’m glad I decided to drive instead of flying here.”

  “We live in a beautiful part of the world.” He tilted his head to one side, studying her face. “You are tired. I hope you have not been worrying about the exhibition.”

  Willow shook her head. “I’ve had a few other things on my mind. Do you know how many people are coming to the gallery on Saturday night?”

  “At the moment, we have sixty guests. By the time your exhibition opens, that number could reach close to eighty.”

  Her eyebrows rose. “That’s a lot of people.”

  “It is when they are all enthusiastic art collectors. You have a special gift, Willow. It is time to show the world what a talented photographer you are.”

  Willow’s heart sank. Not that long ago, she’d heard the same words from Ian. It seemed as though the whole world was pulling her in different directions. And the only place she wanted to be was beside Zac.

  “Come,” Nick said as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders. “It looks as though you need one of my special cups of coffee and a little plate of kourabiedes.”

  “What are koura…kourabeeds?”

  Nick smiled. “They are pronounced kour-a-bie-th-es and are little Greek almond cookies, sprinkled with powdered sugar. My great-granddaughter has been baking for her pappouli.”

  Willow’s eyes filled with tears. She didn’t know if it was because she was tired or because Nick reminded her so much of her granddad. After spending the night alone with her thoughts, knowing Nick cared about her was enough to make her cry.

  “It is all right,” Nick reassured her. “You look as though you are carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders. Come into my workroom and tell me what is wrong.”

  Willow found a tissue and blew her nose. “I’ll be okay.”

  “That is what Mia, my granddaughter, used to tell me before she met her husband. What you forget is that I was once a young man, too. I know when a heart is breaking.”

  Instead of making her feel better, more tears filled Willow’s eyes. “I’m not usually like this. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

  Nick opened the workroom door and sat her on a chair. “We will talk after you have had something to eat and drink. The heart cannot mend itself if the soul is not nourished.”

  Willow sent her friend a wobbly smile. “They’re beautiful words.”

  He tapped his chest. “They come from my heart. We cannot love and not get hurt. When two people fall in love, it is a time of adjustment. Sometimes it is easy and, sometimes, it is more difficult. But always, there is love.”

  As he moved around the workroom, Nick told her about his wife and the long marriage they’d shared. It must have been devastating when she died, but he’d carried on, making a happy life for himself and his granddaughter.

  When he placed a tiny cup of coffee in front of her, she smiled. “It smells delicious.”

  “It is Greek coffee,” Nick said with pride. “Today, we celebrate life. And on Saturday, it will be my privilege to celebrate you and your beautiful photographs.”

  With a trembling hand, Willow tapped her cup against Nick’s. Each of her photos were special, but one would break her heart all over again.

  Zac picked up the nail gun and finished assembling the timber frame for one of the tiny homes. After spending the last two days with Patrick Devlin and the other volunteers, he was even more impressed with what they were doing.

  The old steamboat museum was the perfect location to base the project. With its high ceiling, generous storage spaces, and easy access, the construction team was able to quickly assemble each house.

  “If you ever want to change careers, you can join us permanently,” Patrick said half-jokingly to Zac.


  “No, he can’t,” Pastor John said from behind them. “We need him in the medical clinic.”

  Patrick grinned at Zac. “Everyone wants you to work with them.”

  “I must be living in the right town, then.” He returned the nail gun to the workbench. “If you aren’t busy, John, you can help me lift this frame into place.”

  As well as using John, Patrick tapped another volunteer on the shoulder. Together, the four men turned the frame on its end and nailed it into place.

  Zac looked at the skeleton of the tiny home. “It’s going together quicker than I thought.”

  “We’re getting faster,” Patrick murmured. “By the time the last house rolls out of here, we’ll be experts.”

  “What will you do after the village is finished?” Zac asked John.

  “I’m not sure, but we’ll think of something. Can I speak to you for a moment?”

  Zac wiped the sweat off his forehead. “Sure. If we head across to the kitchen, we should have the room to ourselves.” He didn’t know what John wanted to talk about, but it couldn’t be too serious. “Did you receive a copy of the contract I sent through from the clinical director?”

  John nodded. “What did you think of it?”

  “It was reasonable. I’m pleased they were willing to set up a smaller clinic in The Welcome Center. It will save hauling lots of gear across town. The only concern I have is whether they’ll be able to provide a doctor to work in Sapphire Bay when I take a vacation.”

  “They could always ask Doc Reilly to come out of retirement.”

  “He’d like that. Coffee?”

  “That would be great.” John took a carton of milk out of the refrigerator while Zac poured hot coffee into two mugs. “Have you spoken to Willow recently?”

  Zac’s hand jerked and coffee spilled everywhere.

  “I’ve got it.” John grabbed a dishcloth.

  While he was wiping up the mess, Zac carefully placed the coffeepot on the stand. “Why did you ask me about Willow?”

  “I thought she might have talked to you about the defibrillators.”

  Zac shook his head. “It never came up in our conversation.”

  “Ryan is paying for four defibrillators for the village. Would you be able to teach the residents how to use them?”

  “Sure. I’d be happy to help.”

  John rinsed the dishcloth. “Thanks. We would have shown everyone how to use them when we had our first aid training. But it seemed a little pointless when ours hadn’t arrived.”

  “I agree.” Zac had known John for long enough to realize there was more on his mind than the training. “What else can I help you with?”

  “Am I that easy to read?”

  For the first time all week, Zac smiled. “Only sometimes.”

  John took a sip of his coffee. “How are you feeling after Friday night?”

  “Better than I was.”

  “That doesn’t tell me much.”

  “I don’t know what else to say. The drugs my doctor in Kabul prescribed for me are working.”

  “When you need to see another doctor, there’s a good PTSD clinic in Missoula.”

  Zac nodded. “Thanks.”

  “Willow called me before she left for Bozeman. She’s worried about you.”

  Zac sighed. “She shouldn’t have bothered you.”

  “She cares about you.”

  Acid burned in Zac’s stomach. “Did she tell you I ended our relationship?”

  John’s eyebrows rose. “No, she didn’t. I thought you were happy together?”

  “We were, but it wouldn’t have worked.”

  “You seem sure about that.”

  Zac had never been more positive about anything in his life. “Willow has a busy life. She was talking about going to Europe when the galleries exhibit her photographs. Even the fundraising concert stirred up a lot of interest in her music career. Her former agent left a new recording contract with her.”

  “Did she sign it?”

  “She threw it in the trash.”

  “That must tell you what she thinks of that idea.” John watched Zac’s face before placing his coffee on the table. “What did you do?”

  “I took it out of the trash.”

  “And?”

  “She still didn’t sign it.”

  “Why do you want her to leave Sapphire Bay?”

  Zac frowned. “I don’t want her to leave.”

  “Then why are you making it so difficult for her to stay?”

  “I’m not.”

  John’s steady gaze cut through any half-truths Zac had been telling himself. It wasn’t Willow he was trying to protect, it was himself. “One day, she’ll realize she can have a better life without me. It makes sense to end our relationship now, before either of us get more hurt.”

  John leaned forward. “I haven’t met anyone with PTSD who thinks they’re worthy of being loved. But believe me, when you meet someone who wants to be part of your life, you hold onto them.”

  “It’s too late.” Zac dropped his head to his chest. All he could see was the disappointment and heartache on Willow’s face when he’d told her their relationship was over.

  “It’s never too late to tell someone you love them.”

  Zac lifted his head and looked at John. “If it’s so easy, why are you still single?”

  The sadness in John’s eyes touched something deep within Zac. “I loved a woman once but, like you, I left before she discovered she was better off without me. By the time I realized what I’d lost, she’d met someone else. Don’t make the same mistake I did.”

  Zac took a deep breath.

  He had a lot of thinking to do.

  “I thought this canvas could go here. What do you think?” Nick and his assistant held the photograph of a large bison against the red-brick wall.

  For the last hour, they had been fine-tuning the placement of each canvas. By five o’clock tonight, Willow’s photographs would be ready for tomorrow’s event.

  She tilted her head to the side, studying the canvas. “I definitely think it should go on that wall. The red brick is solid and gives the photograph more impact.”

  She looked at the landscapes on either side of the bison canvas. She’d taken all three photos on one of her trips to Yellowstone National Park. As soon as the main gates opened, she’d driven to her favorite lookout point. A fine mist had been rising above the river, sending tendrils of fog across the breathtaking landscape.

  As the early morning sunlight filtered through the clouds, animals stepped through the mist, giving Willow the photographs she was waiting for. Halfway through the shoot, the bison in the middle canvas appeared. His large brown head had bowed toward the ground. When he looked up, his eyes stared straight down the lens of Willow’s camera.

  As soon as the shutter clicked, she knew she had an incredible image. But it wasn’t until she returned to her studio that she realized it would be one of her best shots.

  It was as if the bison was daring her to come closer, to see for herself how big and bad he could be.

  Nick said something to his assistant and kept moving.

  Willow still couldn’t believe that Nick had gone to so much effort to make her exhibition a success. His gallery rivaled any she’d seen in New York City, and the placement of her canvases was perfect.

  Her only worry was the one she’d left until last.

  As she walked toward the portrait of Zac, her heart pounded against her chest.

  Nick must have seen her distress. “It will be all right. Is this the man who broke your heart?”

  Willow nodded and took a deep breath. For once in her life she regretted how real her photos seemed. If she didn’t know better, she could have sworn she was looking through a window, staring at the man who’d made her believe in happy ever after.

  The white wall Nick had chosen for the canvas was perfect. Unlike the other pictures, this portrait was hanging on its own. It gave the image a sense of space, allo
wing Zac’s gaze to travel beyond the canvas and into the unknown.

  Nick stood beside her. “Has he seen the portrait?”

  “No. I took the photo at a friend’s wedding. He doesn’t know it exists.”

  “You could sell it for thousands of dollars.”

  Willow shook her head. “It’s not for sale.” The portrait of Zac was a last-minute addition to the canvases she’d promised Nick. After Levi and Brooke’s wedding, she’d spent three days slowly adding light and shadow to the original image. It was supposed to be a surprise, a gift Zac would see when he next returned from Afghanistan.

  And even though he didn’t want Willow in his life, she would still give him the portrait. It was too personal, too much of everything he was, to let it hang in someone else’s home.

  Nick touched her arm. “If he is half the man you have captured, be patient.”

  “It’s too late,” Willow whispered.

  “It is never too late.”

  Willow wished Nick was right, but his romantic heart was getting in the way of reality. Zac was about to start a new phase of his life. And she wouldn’t be part of it.

  “What are you still doing here?” William asked.

  Zac stood in the middle of his entranceway, frowning at his friend. “I’m enjoying a quiet Saturday morning in my home. You’re lucky I’m not in bed.”

  William tapped his watch. “It’s after ten o’clock. You need to leave in the next hour if you’re going to the opening of Willow’s exhibition.”

  “I’m not traveling to Bozeman.”

  “Of course you are. You could have flown with Megan, but the plane is full. Driving is your only option.” William pushed past Zac and headed toward his bedroom. “You’ll need a suit. Jeans and a cotton shirt won’t be good enough.”

  Zac jogged after his friend. “Willow won’t want me there.”

  William stopped so suddenly that Zac nearly ran into his back. “Living in Kabul has warped your brain. I’m no Romeo, but even I know you have to fight for the woman you love. Especially when you’re the idiot who told her you don’t love her.”

  Zac ran his hands through his hair. “I never told her I don’t love her.”