Before Today Read online

  “He means by tonight,” Brooke said with a twinkle in her eye. She smiled at John. “Weren’t you the person who said you never ask people for help on Sundays?”

  John didn’t seem the least upset by Brooke’s words. “God works in mysterious ways and, today, I’m out of options. Levi is my last hope.”

  Talk about putting a man under pressure. Levi moved away from the coffee table. Pastor John might have had more than one reason for joining the coffee line, but the people behind him were simply looking for something to drink.

  “I’ll call you after lunch,” Levi promised.

  John seemed relieved. “I’ll only need a few minutes of your time. Thank you.”

  Levi wasn’t sure what he wanted, but it couldn’t be all bad. After all, John was a pastor, and pastors knew a thing or two about staying on the right side of God. Especially on Easter Sunday.

  An hour later, Levi was placing knives and forks on the table in Megan and William’s dining room.

  “Try this,” Nora, Megan’s six-year-old niece said to him. “It’s called starlight candy. Brooke made it ’specially for me ’cos I like stars.”

  Brooke walked into the room and ruffled Nora’s blond hair. “I know you like raspberries and white chocolate, too.”

  Levi bit into the star-shaped candy. Now he knew why Brooke had mentioned Nora’s love of raspberries. The creamy raspberry center was coated in small, white chocolate flakes. It melted like cotton candy in his mouth.

  “It’s delicious.”

  “Do you want another one?” Nora’s small hand held another piece of candy toward him. “Megan has some more in her pantry, so you can have as much as you like.”

  He took the candy and smiled. “Thank you. I’ll have this one, but I’d better not have any more before lunch.”

  Nora’s blue eyes were sparkling with happiness. “That’s what Megan tells me, too.”

  Megan walked into the living room with a plate of roasted vegetables. “Lunch is ready. Do you need to wash your hands, Nora?”

  Nora looked up at Levi. “I’ll be back soon.”

  As she rushed through the doorway, William stepped out of her way. “Careful. I’m holding a plate of hot meat.”

  “Sorry,” she yelled over her shoulder. “I need to wash my hands.”

  After Nora left, William shook his head. “Do you think she’ll ever slow down?”

  Megan smiled at her fiancé. “Not for a long time. And when she does, we’ll probably miss her constant energy.”

  Sam added a bowl of rolls to the table. “And her way of lighting up a room. Is there anything else we need for lunch?”

  Megan looked around the table. “I think we’ve got everything.”

  “Except the wine,” William said. “Don’t wait for me. I won’t be long.”

  By the time they were halfway through lunch, Levi felt as though he’d known everyone for most of his life.

  He’d enjoyed William’s company on the lake, but having Megan and Nora beside him gave Levi another insight into the man who had become his friend.

  Levi hadn’t met Caleb before, but he was the perfect match for Sam. They had the same quick, intelligent minds and loved anything that made their adrenaline flow.

  With her closest friends surrounding her, Brooke was happy. Her worries about paying for her building seemed to be temporarily forgotten. She laughed at Nora’s jokes and rolled her eyes at what Sam and Caleb were planning for their wedding.

  Caleb glanced at his fiancée. “Sam’s mom nearly disowned me when we told her we wanted a barbecue for our wedding lunch.”

  “It’s my sister’s fault,” Sam groaned. “If Shelley hadn’t called off her wedding, Mom would have had the big Italian reception she’s always wanted. It would have made it easier to tell her about the barbecue.”

  Nora’s eyes widened. “When I get married, I want a barbecue, too. And a big cake, just like Megan and William’s.”

  Megan hugged her niece. “You can have whatever you want.”

  “Can my cake have chocolate and banana frosting?”

  “If that’s what you want, I’ll make it for you.”

  Megan couldn’t have said anything to make Nora happier. A big smile lit her face, making everyone at the table smile.

  As the conversation turned to Megan and William’s wedding, Levi sat back and enjoyed the banter going backward and forward across the table.

  For the first time in months, he felt like he belonged. And for Levi, that was more precious than anything in the world.

  Chapter 8

  As Brooke walked toward her SUV, she smiled at Levi. “Did you enjoy having lunch with everyone?”

  “I did. You have great friends.”

  “They are special. It’s a pity Natalie and Gabe weren’t able to make it. You’d like them.”

  Levi nodded. “I’m going fishing with Gabe next Friday. It will be good to meet him.” He took his keys out of his pocket and looked down the street. “I’m surprised there are so many people our age living here. I thought Sapphire Bay would be full of people who are retired.”

  “It’s one of the reasons it’s such a good place to live. I just wish we had more jobs for young people. It would encourage teenagers to stay for longer instead of coming back when they’re our age.” Brooke studied Levi’s face. “You seem a lot happier than you were before church. Did something happen this morning?”

  Levi’s footsteps slowed.

  He was silent for so long that Brooke wondered if everything was all right.

  “It’s the second anniversary of my brother’s death. Last night, I hardly slept. I kept reliving the last days of Peter’s life, wondering what I could have done to change what happened.”

  Brooke stopped walking. That was the last thing she’d expected him to say. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know. I’m surprised you came to the Easter service.”

  “I wasn’t going to, but staying in Zac’s house was worse. Thinking about Peter makes me sad.”

  “How are your parents?” Brooke knew Levi was close to his mom and dad. She’d only met them a few times, but they were lovely people and had welcomed her into their home as if she were their daughter.

  “They’re okay. It’s easy for Mom to talk about how she’s feeling. Dad doesn’t talk about what happened.”

  Brooke touched Levi’s arm. “If it makes it any easier, you can talk to me.”

  Levi shrugged. “There isn’t much to say. Peter felt as though his life was falling apart. The company where he worked closed down and he couldn’t find another job. We thought he would be okay, but when his girlfriend moved to London, he got even more depressed.”

  “Did he see a doctor?”

  “They gave him antidepressants, but they made Peter feel worse. After you left Phoenix, I went home. I hardly recognized him. He’d lost a lot of weight and seemed completely lost.” Levi crossed his arms in front of his chest. “He told me he didn’t know what he wanted anymore. I tried to understand what he was going through, but it was hard.”

  Brooke nodded but didn’t say anything. The pain of losing his brother was written all over Levi’s face. Tears stung her eyes as she tried to imagine how it must have felt to see a person you loved disappear before your eyes.

  “We spent a lot of time restoring an old Harley motorcycle we found on eBay. When we were in the garage, Peter seemed happy.” Levi wiped his eyes. “One weekend I went to Seattle with some friends. I invited Peter, but he didn’t want to go. The first night we were there, Dad called me. Peter had tried to hang himself in the garage. He was in the Intensive Care Unit at the hospital.”

  Brooke’s heart pounded. Her mom had told her Peter had committed suicide. She didn’t know he’d survived.

  “Three days later, after a lot of scans and tests, his doctors wanted Mom and Dad to consider turning off his life support. Peter had been deprived of oxygen for too long. His brain activity was almost nonexistent and his body was slowly shutting down.”

>   Brooke reached out and rubbed Levi’s arm. For five years she’d worked in the Intensive Care Unit where Peter would have been taken. No matter how many times she was part of an end-of-treatment discussion, it never became easier.

  Levi took a deep, shaky breath. “Peter died three hours after the machines were taken away.”

  “That must have been a terrible time.”

  “Dad completely shut down. He wouldn’t talk about Peter or what had happened. The stress of everything almost destroyed my parents’ marriage.”

  Brooke wiped tears off her face. “What about you?”

  Levi looked across the street and for a few seconds, he didn’t say anything. “My PTSD came back with a vengeance. I stayed with Mom and Dad for a few months, then left. I needed to find something I could believe in, a reason for getting out of bed each morning.”

  “Did you find it?”

  “I think I have.” He wiped his eyes, then held Brooke’s hands. “I should have known my life was going to change when I smelled your fudge.”

  In spite of being worried about Levi, Brooke smiled. “I’m glad you’ve got a sweet tooth.”

  “So am I. If I’d walked straight to the general store, I might not have seen you again.”

  Brooke forced her smile a little wider. “When you start replacing the drywall in the attic, you might wish you hadn’t. I don’t think there’s one straight wall in my entire building.”

  Levi sighed. “I believe that’s called a deflection.”

  “You’ve been talking to too many counselors,” she muttered.

  “At least I remembered something they told me. Are you going to invite me into your apartment for coffee?”

  Spending more time with Levi would be dangerous. Grief still clouded his eyes. It would taint any decisions they made, any promises they gave each other. She didn’t want to make the same mistakes she’d made last time.

  She’d fallen head over heels in love with Levi, but she needed to take things slowly. “You can come to my apartment but, in an hour, I’m going to start ripping out the drywall.”

  Levi shook his head. “It’s Easter Sunday. Even God had one day of rest.”

  Brooke grinned. “That’s because he’s a man. If God were a woman, she wouldn’t have stopped until everything was finished.” Brooke took her keys out of her pocket. “If you want to get down and dirty with my drywall, you can always stay for dinner, too.”

  The heat in Levi’s gaze made her toes curl.

  He leaned in close, his lips almost touching hers. “I’ll be right behind you. Don’t go too fast.”

  “I’ll try not to.” But it would be difficult. More difficult than Levi realized.

  It was Monday morning, the sun was shining, and Levi was happier than he’d been all weekend.

  He looked over his shoulder and smiled. Brooke thought she was going to have a long sleep-in this morning, but he had other ideas. At seven o’clock he’d called her from the sidewalk in front of her store, hoping she didn’t throw something at him for getting her out of bed.

  Spending the morning on a hiking trail wasn’t something Brooke would have chosen to do. But she wanted to stretch her comfort zone and, to Levi’s way of thinking, hiking in the middle of nowhere was a good place to start.

  He knew Brooke almost as well as he knew himself. If she’d stayed in her apartment, she would have spent most of the day working. At least if she wasn’t home, she couldn’t make candy or remove rotten floorboards from the attic.

  “Are you still alive back there?” he asked.

  Brooke leaned on a stick she’d found. “I wouldn’t have to worry about being alive if you’d let me stay in bed.”

  He handed her a bag of nuts and chocolate. “Think of what you’d be missing. Look at this incredible scenery.” He pointed across the meadow. Sunlight sparkled off the dewy grass and birds flew between the trees. If he could have conjured up a deer to appear in front of them, it would have been perfect. “Have you ever seen anything so peaceful?”

  With a menacing twist, Brooke took the cap off her water bottle. “It was peaceful two hours ago when we started. When are we going back?”

  Levi kept a close eye on what she was doing with the bottle. “When we come to the fork in the trail, we head left. That will take us back to the parking area.”

  “Are you sure? My GPS isn’t showing any forks in the trail. In fact, according to Mr. Google, this trail doesn’t exist.”

  “I was in the Army for twenty years. I know how to follow a map.” Why was Brooke still looking at him as if he’d lost his marbles? “If you don’t believe me, check the brochure I gave you.”

  Instead of doing what he suggested, Brooke pulled out her phone. “Brochures can be wrong. Look at this.” With her head bent, she scrolled through her phone until she found the map. “This trail keeps going in one direction. There are no forks or deviations anywhere.”

  Levi studied the screen. He enlarged the map, moved it to the left, then peered at the trees farther north. He hated to admit it, but she could be right.

  Brooke slid her water bottle into her backpack. “If we stay on this trail, I don’t know where we’ll end up.”

  He took the brochure out of his pocket and compared the two maps. Something was wrong, and it probably had something to do with the age of the map. “We’ve been following a trail guide that’s three years old. You’re right. If we keep walking in this direction, we’ll never make it to the parking lot.”

  “Does that mean we’re turning around?”

  Levi looked at his watch. If they were lucky, they’d make it back to the SUV by lunchtime. “I should have listened to you sooner.”

  Brooke handed him the bag of nuts and chocolate. “Don’t worry. It’s good to know you’re human. Everyone makes mistakes.” With an extra spring in her step, Brooke turned around and started walking back the way they’d come.

  For a few moments, Levi watched her move along the trail. With her hair tied in a ponytail and a red cap keeping the sun off her face, she should have looked like any other hiker. But to Levi, she was as precious as the early morning sunshine that spilled through his bedroom window, or his first view of Flathead Lake when he’d arrived in town.

  Brooke took his breath away, and he didn’t know what to do about it.

  She stopped in the middle of the path and turned around. “Is everything all right?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “What don’t you know?”

  Levi frowned. If he didn’t tell Brooke how he felt about her, he might never find the courage. “I’m still in love with you and I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not.”

  Brooke didn’t move. She didn’t speak. And when he looked at her pale face, he began to wonder if he should have said anything.

  With his heart pounding, he walked toward her. “I’ve never stopped loving you. I want to be part of your life. Part of your future.”

  With a trembling hand, Brooke took off her cap. Wary blue eyes followed each step he took. “I don’t want to make the same mistakes I made last time.”

  Levi didn’t know what she was talking about. “What mistakes?”

  “We fell in love so fast. I was scared it wouldn’t last, that I’d mix up your life even more by being with you. I thought it would be easier if I said goodbye instead of waiting for you to leave.”

  “Why would I have left? I loved you.”

  “You were going through a tough time. I wasn’t sure whether you loved me or the person you were when we were together.”

  Levi held her cold hands. “You weren’t part of my PTSD treatment plan. I loved you for who you were, not for what you could do for me.”

  Brooke’s scowl deepened. “I didn’t know if what I felt was real. You needed to rebuild your life and you couldn’t do that while we were together.”

  There was so much he could have said, words that might have explained how important she’d been to him. But none of it mattered. “We can’t chang
e what happened, but we can change our future. I want to stay in Sapphire Bay. I’d like to be part of your life, but if that’s not something you want, you need to tell me.”

  Her hand tightened around his. “I love you, but I don’t want to let you down. What if one of us—”

  Levi placed his hands on either side of Brooke’s face. “There’s no way you could let me down. Ever.” He saw the doubt in her eyes, a lifetime of worrying about never being good enough. “I’ll try my hardest not to let you down, either. Do you want to be my girlfriend?” he whispered.

  Brooke lifted her hand to his face. As she ran her fingertips along his jaw, she smiled. “You might have to shave more often. Otherwise, Megan and Sam will know we’ve been kissing.”

  Levi’s heart almost leaped out of his chest. “And what’s wrong with your friends knowing I’m kissing you?”

  Brooke’s stepped even closer. Her mouth nudged his throat, leaving butterfly kisses against his overheated skin.

  Fire shot through his veins. If the feel of her lips against his skin did this much damage, he was in serious trouble.

  “Sam and Megan have got weddings on their brains. Before you know it, they’ll be giving you tips on how to get married on a shoe-string budget.”

  Levi didn’t care how many tips they gave him. All he wanted to know was how to keep Brooke in his life. “We should give them something to talk about, then.”

  “That’s what I was thinking,” she whispered.

  As soon as their mouths touched, Levi was lost. He didn’t care about Sam and Megan’s wedding plans or how many times he’d have to reassure Brooke that he loved her.

  All he cared about was keeping Brooke beside him, loving her the way she deserved to be loved. And hopefully, being loved with the same intensity.

  Brooke pulled the last bag of moldy drywall out of the attic and down the back stairs. “You don’t know how good this feels,” she said to Levi.

  He hauled his own bag ahead of her. “I’ve got a pretty good idea. Wait until the new walls go up. You’ll forget about the dust and rats’ nests. The only things on your mind will be the paint colors and the furniture. Wait there. I’ll hold the door open for you.”