Forever in Love (Montana Brides) Page 18

  A cold gust of wind slapped at his face when he opened the door. He tugged Catherine’s red hat over her ears, holding her tight against his chest.

  Amy zipped past him, marching like a sergeant major down the sidewalk, arms stiff and feet flying. He could almost see her relief when she spotted his truck.

  “What’s the rush?”

  She waited for him to catch up, glancing nervously over his shoulder. “You know what the problem is.”

  He started to turn toward the café, but Amy hissed something unladylike under her breath and gave him another poke. “Keep moving. If we stay here much longer they’ll come and see what we’re doing.”

  “We aren’t doing anything.”

  “They don’t know that.” Amy held her hand out for his keys.

  He stood back while she fumbled with the buttons, then dropped the whole lot on the sidewalk. He almost smiled, until he caught sight of her face. Her eyes had filled with tears and her bottom lip trembled so much that she caught it between her teeth.

  “Are you okay?” he asked.

  Amy nodded, opening the back door for him before moving to the other side of the truck. He buckled Catherine into her car seat, then glanced back at the café. He lowered himself into the driver’s seat, pulling his seatbelt across his chest before checking that Amy had buckled herself in. Without saying another word he reversed out of the parking space and headed toward Amy’s house.

  “It’s not as bad as you think.” Nathan kept his voice low and gentle, as if he was coaxing a young foal into a halter. Amy crossed her arms in front of her chest and turned her head away. He didn’t know if she was being stubborn or hurting more than she should. Either way she wasn’t talking.

  They drove on for another few minutes, the silence stretching between them so thin that Nathan was surprised the air didn’t crackle and spit inside the cab. Amy sniffed a few times and he reached between the seats, grabbing a small packet of tissues he kept for emergencies. “Use these.”

  He focused on the road ahead, barely flinching when Amy’s hand brushed his skin.

  “Thanks.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  Amy blew her nose. “I don’t know what to do about mom.”

  Nathan glanced across the cab, not sure whether he’d imagined the softly spoken words. Amy stared back, her red nose and tear filled eyes making him wonder if he really understood what was going on. He knew she was worried about her mom taking Catherine away, and he understood that. If he’d been in the same situation he’d fight tooth and nail to keep Carmen out of anyone’s life. But this time Amy had the law and his family on her side. In most people’s books that amounted to some pretty major hurdles keeping her sister in Montana.

  “What did Catherine’s case worker say?”

  “She thinks I should let mom spend time with Catherine. She offered to supervise the visits.”

  He slowed for a red light and gripped the steering wheel. It was a whole lot safer than giving in to what he really wanted to do. Holding Amy’s hand would only get him deeper into trouble and make everything a hundred times worse. She’d made it clear that she didn’t need his sympathy or anything else he might be offering. So instead he focused on the sanding truck spreading salt across the road, keeping the intersection from becoming slick with ice.

  “What’s the worst that could happen?”

  Amy didn’t say anything. Scrunching the tissues in her hand into a tight ball, she stared out the window. She took a deep breath, holding back whatever thoughts were racing around her head.

  The light changed and Nathan drove forward with the rest of the Saturday afternoon traffic. He glanced at Amy, then in the rear view mirror. Catherine had pushed herself against the side of her car seat, leaning against the soft navy fabric with a faraway look in her eyes. If he’d been able to see Amy’s face, he’d guarantee she’d have the same look in her eyes. Only she wasn’t falling into sleep, she was working her way out of a bad dream.

  “I’m worried that mom’s going to take Catherine back to Chicago with her.”

  Nathan had a feeling there was more going on than that, but either Amy wasn’t ready to talk about it, or she really didn’t know what was eating away at her. “Was that part of the deal Catherine’s case worker wanted you to think about?”

  Amy shook her head. “No.”

  “So what’s the problem?”

  “Mom might realize how much she misses being part of Catherine’s life. If she’s doing everything she said she would, she could get Catherine back sooner than I thought.”

  He hated what he was about to say. Amy had built her whole future around Catherine, a future that could change faster than it had formed. “That was always part of the deal. No matter what happened in the past, Carmen is Catherine’s mother. If she can prove she’s changed, then she’s legally entitled to take care of Catherine.”

  “She won’t change, not for the long-term anyway. She’ll treat Catherine like a Barbie doll for a while and then as soon as something happens she’ll drag her off to another town to start again.”

  “This time it might be different.”

  Amy’s snort of disbelief filled the cab. “Mom’s forty- four-years-old. She’s been running most of her life. A person doesn’t change that much in eight months.”

  “I wouldn’t be so sure about that,” Nathan murmured. His own life had turned in a complete circle after the fire. He was still learning to cope with the changes that would always be part of his life.

  Amy looked up, focusing for a heartbeat on the scars marking the side of his face. “The fire was different. You didn’t have a choice about what happened.”

  “And you think Carmen did?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Maybe it’s time to find out.”

  Amy rested her head on the back of her seat, watching the traffic in front of them crawl along the road. “What if I don’t want to know?”

  Nathan pulled into her driveway. “I guess that’s something you need to figure out.”

  Amy glanced at the clock on the wall for the hundredth time. Jackie would be arriving with Carmen soon. She’d dusted, cleaned and polished every surface in the house until it gleamed.

  Even the Andersons’ cats were behaving themselves. Alby and Boots had curled around each other in front of the fire, ignoring the rain lashing against the windows. Monty had disappeared up the hallway not long after Catherine had fallen asleep. The overstuffed chair in the corner of her sister’s room had become his official resting spot. As soon as Catherine woke up, Monty would find Amy and lead her back to the bedroom to look after his little friend.

  The doorbell rang and Amy jumped. She gazed around the room one last time, imagining what it would look like through her mother’s eyes. Lots of overstuffed furniture, colorful rugs, and chunky wooden furniture made the Andersons’ house a home. Amy had added a few cushions and framed photos of her own, but it still felt like a home that belonged to someone else.

  She opened the door, glad that Jackie didn’t linger on the porch. “You can leave your coats on the stand in the hallway, if you like.”

  Carmen pulled a dark blue hat off her head and folded it into the pocket of her woolen coat. “I’d forgotten how cold Montana can be at this time of the year.”

  Amy watched her mom unbutton her coat and leave it on the stand. Bootleg jeans and a red sweater hugged her mom’s slim body, making Amy wish she’d not gone to so much bother with the dress she’d chosen. “I’ll make a pot of tea if you’d like a hot drink?”

  Jackie smiled. “That would be lovely. Do you need any help getting it ready?”

  Amy shook her head. “It’s all waiting in the kitchen. If you go through the set of doors in front of you, I’ll bring it through in a minute.”

  “Where’s Catherine?” Carmen asked.

  Amy tried not to look flustered, tried hard to keep her voice steady. She’d tossed and turned for most of the night, second guessing everything about her
mom and why she had suddenly turned up in Bozeman. As much as it choked her to admit it, Nathan had been right. She needed to find out what her mom wanted before she turned into a nervous wreck.

  “She’s in bed. She should be awake soon.” Amy disappeared into the kitchen, leaving Jackie and her mom to find a seat in the lounge.

  The phone call to Jackie on Sunday morning had been shorter than Amy imagined it would be. Within a few minutes they had organized an appointment for lunch time on Monday, leaving Amy with a whole day to worry herself silly about leaving Catherine with their mom.

  Monty wandered into the kitchen, his long skinny tail waving toward the ceiling like the baton of a musical conductor. Amy smiled when he yawned, his mouth opening so wide that she swore she could see his tonsils. “Is Catherine awake?”

  He twitched his tail and turned away.

  “Okay, I’ll be there in minute.”

  Monty didn’t wait to see what she was doing. He disappeared into the hallway just as Amy pulled a plate of sandwiches out of the fridge. She opened the oven and took some hot mini quiches out, thankful that Tess had made them for her. With all of the food carefully balanced on one of Mrs. Anderson’s trays, she carried it into the lounge.

  Carmen stood in the middle of the room with Catherine clutched in her arms. “I hope you don’t mind. She was wide awake when I went into her room.”

  Amy didn’t know what to say. It had given her such a shock to see her mom holding Catherine that she almost forgot she had a tray of food in her hands. Jackie walked toward her and put the tray on a small table, giving Amy a reassuring smile.

  Carmen stepped around Monty and moved closer to Amy. “I can change Catherine’s nappy for you.”

  The hopeful look on her mom’s face upset Amy more than it should have. Carmen hadn’t seen Catherine for eight months. Her baby had turned into a toddler and Amy had turned into the paranoid older sister from hell. She couldn’t blame her mom for wanting to spend as much time as possible with Catherine, but it didn’t make it any easier. “There are clean diapers in the top drawer of the vanity in the main bathroom. I’ll get a towel and washcloth for you.”

  Carmen shook her head and grinned at the little fingers reaching for her hair. “We can manage, can’t we, Catherine?”

  Catherine gurgled, grinning at her mom as Carmen kissed her hands.

  “I’ll just go and get everyone’s tea...” Amy made a hasty escape to the kitchen before she made a fool of herself. She took a deep breath and held onto the counter to stop her hands from trembling.

  “It’s okay, Amy. I know this is hard for you.”

  Jackie followed her into to the kitchen. The concerned frown on her face made Amy feel even more jittery. She thought about all the things she’d lined up to do this afternoon and none of them seemed more important than staying with her sister. But she’d made a promise to Jackie, and an even bigger one to herself.

  “I’ve left my cell phone number on the table with a list of all the things Catherine likes to eat. If you have any questions just give me a call.” She put two cups and saucers on a tray with a pot of tea, then added a few paper napkins for good measure. “Catherine’s quick on her feet, so watch her around the hot water. And she likes to shake her sippy cup all over the place, so you might want to put her in the highchair when you give her lunch.”

  “What about your lunch?” Jackie asked. “Why don’t you have something to eat with us before you leave?”

  Amy wiped her hands down the side of her dress and took a step backward. “No...umm...I mean I’m going to meet a friend for lunch. Just make yourself at home.” She grabbed the keys for her truck and picked up her jacket, making it halfway across the room before Jackie stopped her in her tracks.

  “Carmen’s your mom too. She didn’t come to Bozeman to only see Catherine.”

  “She’s never...” Amy wanted to tell Jackie about all the times her mom had said she was coming to visit. And all the times something happened to change her plans. Amy was a grown woman. She’d given up being disappointed by her mom years ago.

  “We lived in the same city for four years and I saw her twice. If it wasn’t for the fact that I’m looking after Catherine, visiting me wouldn’t be high on her list of priorities.”

  “Have you thought about what might happen if your mom is given custody of your sister?”

  Jackie’s softly spoken words sent a sharp spike of fear through Amy. She hadn’t thought of much else over the last few weeks.

  “Carmen’s changing her life. She’s got a steady job and isn’t drinking. She’s doing everything she can to get her life back on track. It’s in your best interests to form a relationship with your mom.”

  White dots skimmed in front of Amy’s vision. She walked toward the counter and sat on one of the stools before her legs gave out. “Are you saying I might not see Catherine again?”

  “If your mom’s granted custody she can take Catherine wherever she likes.”

  Amy took a deep breath. “I thought she’d have to stay in one state.”

  Jackie shook her head. “As long as Catherine’s care is monitored, your mom can live wherever she chooses.”

  Amy dropped her head into her hands. She’d always thought Carmen would have to stay in Chicago. Or if not Chicago, then somewhere else she could raise Catherine without moving every couple of years. If she had a permanent home, Amy could keep in contact with her sister and make sure their mom stayed sober.

  “Today might be a good time to start getting to know your mom. You never know, you might find that you’ve got more in common than you think you have.”

  Apart from brown eyes, Amy doubted she had anything in common with Carmen. Her mom had never talked about her life before Amy had been born. As far as Amy knew she had no other living relatives. No family tree to give her the solid foundation she’d craved as an unhappy teenager.

  She wanted Catherine to have what the Gray family had brought into her life; stability, patience, and above all, love. If that meant spending time with her mom, finding out about their family, then she’d do it.

  Amy pulled her keys out of her pocket and laid them on the counter. “Tell me what I need to do.”

  Jackie stood quietly beside her. “Just be yourself.”

  CHAPTER TEN

  Nathan held his breath and then slowly relaxed his hold on his horse’s reins. He moved his weight forward, gripping the saddle between his thighs when Chan stomped his feet, impatient for a run over the icy ground.

  “Are you going to move, or sit up there like royalty for another ten minutes?”

  Nathan glanced down at Sean. His brother had been outside most of the day, chopping firewood and stacking it in the lean-to their dad had built on the side of the barn. Unfortunately for Nathan, Sean had decided to head inside about the same time he decided to put a saddle on Chan. He’d go crazy if he didn’t ride soon, and regardless of what Doc Johnson told him, he knew he was ready.

  Leaning forward, Nathan patted Chan’s neck. “I’m beginning to wonder why I let you help me.”

  “Could have had something to do with not being able to get on your horse.” Sean crossed his arms in front of his chest, casting a weary glance over Chan. “Are you sure you’re up to this?”

  “What do you think?” After saddling up Chan, they’d argued about Nathan wearing a rib and chest protector. The conversation had taken a turn for the worst when the word ‘helmet’ came up for discussion. His brother wouldn’t take no for an answer, so Nathan trussed himself up like a chicken on learner plates just to get away from his paranoid brother.

  He’d thought getting on Chan would be easy. He should have known better. They’d spent another twenty minutes figuring out how a two hundred and thirty pound male could mount a horse when the same man had trouble getting out of bed in the morning. In the end they’d resorted to using a ladder. If it hadn’t been for Sean’s threat to strap him into a hoist if he didn’t get his backside on his horse, he might still
be glaring at the saddle.

  “You’re too stubborn for your own good,” Sean growled. “What did Amy say about riding?”

  “Amy didn’t say anything because I didn’t ask her. Haven’t you got something more productive to do than stare at me?”

  Sean leaned the ladder against the side of the barn. “Just promise me you’ll be careful. If you fall off mom will skin me alive.”

  Nathan took a deep breath and felt Chan’s powerful body beneath him. After eight months of not being able to ride he was damned if he’d miss out on another second.

  “I’ll be back in an hour.” He nudged Chan forward before Sean decided to go with him. Putting up with his brother breathing down his neck wouldn’t cure the restlessness that had sent him out here in the first place.

  “Where are you going?”

  “Toward the northwest boundary,” Nathan tossed over his shoulder. He picked up the pace, sitting deep in his saddle, testing out his back and shoulders as they rode across the ranch. Cold air stung his face and he grinned as he pulled on the reins, forcing Chan into a slow cantor as they made their way up the mountain.

  He’d missed everything about riding. He couldn’t remember a time when he hadn’t been on a horse, finding some excuse to spend an extra half hour in the saddle. Over the last few months there’d been times when he doubted he’d ever be able to ride again. He’d watched his brothers mount their horses, working the ranch without a care in the world.

  As summer had rolled into fall he’d almost given up on ever finding the peace and solitude he craved in the mountains with Chan. Then the first snow of winter arrived, tipping the balance of his resolve. It was now or never. If he didn’t push himself, haul his ass onto Chan, then he wouldn’t be able to ride for months.

  As they came to a rocky plateau he pulled Chan to a stop and took the time to appreciate the sprawling view below him. He’d often come here to think. To be grateful for what he had. Pride and a sense of belonging had always anchored him to this land like no other force on earth.